Good Practices for Working with Men and Boys
Understand the Context
Develop a Comprehensive Response
Work with Communities as Partners
Work with Men and Boys in Culturally Relevant Ways
See Men and Boys as Agents of Change
Focus on Safety and Accountability
Work Toward Healing
Use the Right Messenger
Use Positive, Relevant Messages
Understand the Context
The social ecology model provides a useful conceptual framework for thinking through the connections between men, gender, and violence. Here are the key ideas in this framework:
Gendered norms and behaviors are taught and learned—not natural or genetic. The options available to women and men vary from society to society and as gender norms change over time.
- Culturally dominant norms of masculinity that encourage men to use violence limit men’s—and women’s and girls’—choices, safety, and behavior.
- All societies and cultures have some masculine norms that are positive and nonviolent.
- Gender-based violence is related to systems of power—the oppression of women and certain groups of men.
- Different groups of men have different experiences of power and violence. Many men are themselves oppressed—by racism, homophobia, or economic exploitation, for example. The violence that this oppression produces in men’s lives serves the purpose of domination and control, just as men’s violence against women does.
The Power Chart exercise provides a way to think and talk about men’s different experiences of power and oppression and how these experiences relate to gender-based violence.
Develop a Comprehensive Response
Gender-based violence and the complex systems that support it are entrenched at all levels of our societies—as are resources and opportunities to end violence. Because of this situation, violence prevention efforts will be most successful when initiatives at different levels are coordinated. See Apply a Comprehensive Approach for details on the range of strategies that can contribute to a comprehensive response.
One challenge in developing a truly comprehensive approach to violence prevention is to work with men and boys on a personal level as well as in the broader context of the social change. Learn more about the personal and political roles for men in What Men & Boys Can Do.
Work with Communities as Partners
Public health practitioners increasingly are recognizing that prevention efforts of all kinds should engage members of local communities as true partners, not merely as beneficiaries or recipients. Men and boys in different communities have different experiences of violence and oppression—as well as different positive, nonviolent role models and options. By drawing on these experiences and options, we can engage men and boys as active partners in change.
For more information on working with communities, see the Family Violence Prevention Fund’s “Preventing Family Violence: Lessons from the Community Engagement Initiative”
These resources from organizations in Africa provide valuable guidance on working with men and boys as partners and designing community-driven programs:
Stepping Stones is a community participation method developed by ActionAid to get communities to participate in tackling HIV/AIDS issues.
Work with Men and Boys in Culturally Relevant Ways
Differences in age, ethnicity, race, immigration status, sexuality, economic status, educational background, and so on produce different cultures and subcultures. To succeed, violence prevention efforts must incorporate messages, strategies, and models that make sense in specific cultural contexts. For more information on operating in different contexts, see Beyond Cultural Competence.
See Men and Boys as Agents of Change
Many have seen men and boys only as the cause of gender-based violence, not as part of the solution. But men and boys can be active agents in helping to prevent gender-based violence, if we work with them to develop three essential qualities:
Capacity for change. The "boys will be boys" perspective allows men no capacity for changing themselves, and thus no responsibility to change. But men are made, not born—boys are bombarded with messages (from television and movies, school, friends, family, and video games to name a few sources) about how they should behave, what they are entitled to, and what is expected of them. Many of these messages encourage the use of violence. Young and adult men can become agents of change when they have the opportunity to learn about the effects of this gender socialization and are equipped with the tools and skills to resist norms that encourage violence.
Motivation for change. The pressures that boys and men are under to stick to their gender roles and masculine scripts make it difficult to be different. That’s why it’s important to develop strategies and use messages that give men powerful motivation to change. Stress to men and boys the benefits for them of a less violent world, as well as the benefits for women and children. These benefits include more choices in how to behave, relate to others, and form more productive relationships within families and the community.
Responsibility for change. It is also important to stress the responsibility men and boys have to change the conditions that allow gender-based violence to happen. This doesn’t mean blaming men for violence—labeling all men as actual or potential perpetrators puts men on the defensive and often alienates them from working on gender-based violence. It also fails to recognize the different opportunities and costs men face in trying to take responsibility for making changes in their own lives and the lives of their communities. Rather than simply blaming men, we need to be helping and challenging men to take these opportunities, deal with these costs, and become agents of change.
See What Men & Boys Can Do for details on four key roles for men and boys in preventing violence.
See Thirteen Steps That Men Can Take for guidance on how men and boys can become agents of change.
"The Men of Strength Clubs" that Men Can Stop Rape has developed in Washington, D.C., schools are a good example of supporting young men to become agents of change.
Focus on Safety and Accountability
Violence prevention work with men and boys must prioritize the safety of those most targeted by this violence—women and children. It is important to send a clear message that gender-based violence is unacceptable and that violence prevention includes challenging all aspects of oppressive behavior (from sexist jokes to physical violence). Challenging homophobia is also critical because gender-based violence against people in LGBT communities is a significant problem and it reinforces men’s subordination of women.
There is no excuse for violence. Despite social pressures on men to live up to certain masculine ideals, these ideals are not responsible for men’s violence—individual men are. Violence prevention work with men and boys must focus on how we can and should hold ourselves accountable as individuals, families, peer groups, and communities for the choices that we make to either stop or continue the violence.
Work Toward Healing
We need to create spaces for men to heal from the emotional, psychological, and physical violence they have suffered and to learn about how this violence plays out in their own attitudes and behaviors.
For example, studies suggest that one in six boys has been a victim of sexual abuse. Harvard clinical psychologist William Pollack points out that while more girls attempt to kill themselves, four times as many boys succeed in killing themselves. Suicide rates for young white men are twice as high as the rate for all Americans. And the suicide rate for young African-American men increased 165 percent during the 1990s. These statistics reveal some of the pain and harm that boys and men need help to heal from. An important part of this healing is learning to empathize with women’s experience of violence: without an understanding of women’s oppression, men cannot fully understand the effects of gender on their own lives.
For more on boys’ experiences and how they can heal, see Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood, William Pollack, Ph.D. (Henry Holt and Co., New York, 1999).
Use the Right Messenger
Prevention efforts should pay attention not only to messages for men and boys, but also to who conveys the message. It can be enormously valuable to have mixed-gender pairs or teams of educators who model gender partnership and equal relations in the course of educating. And it’s valuable for men and boys to hear the voices and experiences of women and girls.
It is also true that many men are more likely to listen to other men. We may think that men need to hear women’s voices—stories of the harm done to them by violence, and of the joys of nonviolent and egalitarian relations with men. But it may be more effective for men to say the things that we want men to hear from women.
Credibility, the ability to speak the language of a particular group of men and boys, and an understanding of the positions, needs, and motivations of men and boys are vital qualities for violence prevention messengers. Depending on local circumstances, this may mean using women and men, using only men, or matching messengers with group demographic variables such as gender, ethnicity, age, community affiliation, and so on. Men can be messengers in many ways; one of the most important is by serving as a role model and mentor.
Use Positive, Relevant Messages
Men and boys in our societies receive messages about how they should behave, what they are entitled to, and what is expected of them from a range of sources—television and movies, schools, friends, family, and video games, to name a few. Many of these messages encourage the use of violence.
Prevention efforts have to counteract this mountain of prevailing messages with alternative messages that are delivered using language and images grounded in men’s and boys’ experiences and concerns. For example, men respond better when you begin with the positive as aspects of masculinity rather than approaching them with negative messages or blame. Messages that point out the benefits of ending violence—for men as well as women and children—can be highly effective. See Making the Case to Men & Boys for detailed suggestions.
Prevention initiatives should challenge attitudes and actions that perpetuate gender violence, but must focus on approaches that will actually reach men and boys.
See Children Now’s “Boys to Men: Entertainment Media,” a national poll of children, focus groups, and content analysis of entertainment media, and Men Can Stop Rape’s Strength Campaign for more information on the messages sent to men.
Reflection questions
- Do these practices reflect the type of work you do or plan to do?
- Which of these practices will be the most difficult for your organization to implement? Which will be the easiest?
- Based on your experience, are there other practices you would add to this list?
Discussion Board
Join the discussion on these recommended practices and share your own lessons learned and good practices for working with men and boys to prevent violence.
