A Tool Box of Intervention Strategies

Adapted from Men Can Stop Rape
www.mencanstoprape.org

Learning Objectives:

1. To develop a toolbox of strategies for challenging the dominant story of masculinity and preventing men's violence against women every day
2. To learn specific techniques for challenging peers's attitudes and behaviors that support men's violence against women

Time Required: 60 minutes

1. Tape
2. Flipchart and markers
3. (Optional: continuum cards from the continuum of harm exercise)

FACILITATOR'S NOTES: If someone shouted out every time something was said or done or shown that supported violence against women, the resulting noise would be constant and thunderous. As it stands, however, the voices contributing to the culture supporting this violence are both more numerous and louder than those speaking out against it. That is why it is so important to join the growing chorus of voices confronting attitudes, behaviors, assumptions, and language that contribute to a climate of violence against women. And why it is so important to speak out in favor of ways of communicating that foster mutual respect and care.

The intervention strategies exercise will help young men begin to develop ways of speaking up that are thoughtfully strategic. When addressing speaking out in these situations, it is critically important to let people know that you are serious about safety concerns. Having said that, do not dwell too much on the fears and risks of intervening. Doing so runs the risk of scaring potential allies into silence. Make sure that you always return to the positive message that we can overcome our fears and find a way to take action.

You will present young men with three different scenarios. Please don't feel limited by the suggested scenarios. It is important to choose settings and situations that are familiar to audience members. If "Intervention Strategies" is a follow-up to "Continuum of Harm to Women," you might connect the scenarios with cards from the continuum. The first suggested scenario could, for instance, be linked to "Blaming a woman/girl for being raped because she wore revealing clothes."

Because "The Power of Words" specifically asks audience members to imagine intervening in circumstances where they are used to remaining silent, there may be some audience resistance, especially from male participants, to developing strategies. Sometimes, participants will resist developing strategies by explaining that if they found themselves in such a situation, they wouldn't intervene. Respond by asking them to think hypothetically. What could they say that might make a difference? As you walk from group to group, help each think about their scenario more carefully.

On a different note, pay attention to when young men suggest aggressive or violent interventions (e.g., "I'd kick his ass"). The desire to ride in on a white horse with guns blazing and to fix things is one of the central components of traditional masculinity, and it can often lead to more harm than good. Instead, we encourage people to resist fighting violence with violence, to think before acting, and to seek nonviolent methods of resisting rape culture that minimize the risk of anyone getting physically hurt. Otherwise, there is little difference between our style of intervention and vigilantism.

EXERCISE

"We're not claiming that challenging the attitudes and behaviors that support sexual and domestic violence is easy. In fact, it can be scary. We all have many different concerns/fears about what could happen if we speak up in the face of someone's violence-supporting actions. Some of you might worry the person will get very angry and maybe even want to physically fight with you. Others might be concerned that you'll be laughed at or that no one will take you seriously. If I'm challenging a friend, I sometimes worry that he won't want to hang around me anymore, that I'll actually lose a friend for speaking out against sexual and domestic violence."

"Women might have particular worries when speaking out. For example, if a woman challenges the word 'bitch,' she might get called a bitch right back or be seen as some radical uptight 'feminazi.' Men, on the other hand, are more likely to be accused of being a traitor to other men if they speak up. You suddenly become a 'bitch' or a 'fag,' as if sexual orientation has anything to do with being against sexual violence. It's as if there is a pact among men to stay silent when another man puts a woman down, and if you speak up, you're out of the manhood club."

"I wish I could tell you that these responses never occur, but sometimes they do. People do get defensive and may react strongly. The most important thing to consider when deciding whether to intervene is one's safety. If you don't feel safe, it may be better to let a comment or action go unchallenged and try to find a way to address it at a later time."

"At the same time, being concerned about another person's reaction is not an excuse to do nothing. Being aware of your fears does not make it okay to give in to them. On the contrary, it allows you to have to control over your fears so that they won't paralyze you when you need to speak out."

Scenarios

"One of the best ways to overcome the concerns and fears that keep us silent is to have a toolbox of strategies on hand for intervening when the situation arises. That way, you don't have to think so much about what to do, whether to do it, when to do it, and so on. You'll simply be prepared to act when you need to. What we want to do now is an exercise to help you begin to come up with some effective intervention strategies."

* Break the audience into three small groups of equal size (ideally no more than 10 per group).

1. What concerns would you have about intervening in this situation?
2. How would you go about intervening?
3. How do you imagine the person would respond to different types of interventions?"

"Take about 10 minutes to answer those questions and then we'll reconvene as a large group to discuss the creative strategies that you all came up with."

* Present the following three scenarios, one for each group:

Scenario #1: "Rumor has it that one of your classmates has been accused of rape by another classmate. You find yourself talking with some friends about it and one of them begins to defend the accused by saying that the alleged victim is a slut."

Scenario #2: "You're walking down the street and someone is standing there making derogatory comments to all of the women walking by."

Scenario #3: "You're at a party, and you hear a group of guys talking. One guy says that he needs to get going because he's supposed to meet his girlfriend later. The others start to give him a hard time, saying that he's whipped. One guy says, 'If my bitch ever tried to tell me what to do, I'd smack her down real quick."

* As the groups discuss, you should walk around, observe, and facilitate as needed. When the time expires, bring everyone back together and have people from each group report on their respective discussions. The focus of this part of the presentation should be on generating a list of concrete intervention strategies that everyone can use for a variety of situations. Use the list of strategies in the appendix as a guide to help you categorize audience suggestions and add to the list if someone suggests something new and creative.

Strategies

When discussing the strategies that each group comes up with, write them down on either a chalkboard or a flip chart. The groups will probably describe many of the strategies on the attached list. As they do so, talk about why some strategies are particularly suitable for specific scenarios. Below are suggestions for enhancing the discussion of particular strategies:

STRATEGY: "Clarification"
People who express attitudes connected to rape culture expect people to go along with them, to laugh, to agree, to join in. They do not expect to be questioned. Saying, "I'm not clear about what you mean by that. Maybe you could explain?" or some other form of clarification helps to change the dynamic and flow of conversation. Also, people are encouraged to think about the assumptions that underlie their statements and attitudes. It is especially important to question in a nonaggressive way.

STRATEGY: "Bring It Home"
This strategy re-humanizes the person being demeaned. Reminding someone that their sister, mother, or girlfriend might be talked about in this way often reminds people of women's humanity.

STRATEGY: "I Statements"
Ask audience members how they feel when someone points the finger at them, when someone says in an accusatory voice, "YOU....." Talk about how "I Statements" are easier for people to hear since they are about the person making the statement, about which people are less likely to become defensive.

STRATEGY: "Humor"
This is perhaps the trickiest of all the strategies since humor can easily escalate tensions if people feel they're being mocked. However, if you use humor effectively, it can reduce the tension inherent in interventions. Be careful, though, not to be so funny that you undermine the point you're trying to make.

STRATEGY: "Silent Stare"
This strategy carries considerable weight with young people if you connect it with parents, who have the uncanny ability to communicate their displeasure with their children simply by staring at them. No words need to be spoken.

STRATEGY: "Group Intervention"
Studies indicate that 90 percent of men are at times uncomfortable with how their male peers talk about or treat women, but almost all remain silent because they believe they are the only ones who feel uncomfortable. This strategy is designed to let others know that they are not alone in their discomfort. For example, you might simply turn to the group and ask, "Am I the only one uncomfortable with this?" This strategy can also be useful when you know someone who has a pattern of expressing rape-supporting attitudes. Friends and/or family can, as a group, do an intervention. This technique has been used successfully in addressing addictive behavior, such as alcoholism.

STRATEGY: "Distraction"
The goal of this strategy is not to directly confront rape-supporting behaviors, but rather to interrupt them. This is an especially useful technique in dealing with situations in which there is a higher risk of physical violence (e.g., street harassment or an assault in progress). Simply asking someone for the time or for directions might be enough to interrupt the behavior and give the target the opportunity to escape.

STRATEGY: "We're Friends, Right?"
Most people recognize that this strategy works best if you take your friend off to the side or wait until later to confront him or her. That way, you can avoid humiliating your friend and increase the likelihood that he or she will be able to hear and value what you say.

Conclusion

"You all have generated a great list of strategies for challenging others on their violence-supporting language, attitudes, and actions. Hopefully, you feel more prepared to speak up when the situation calls for it. Remember, your comfort will increase the more you practice speaking up. One word of advice before we wrap up: don't expect miracles from yourself or miraculous results from your interventions. There is no perfect intervention, and there are no instant conversions. As far as we're concerned, every intervention is a success, because every time we speak out, we make the world less safe for sexual and domestic violence."

"I want to let you all know that you're far ahead of where I was at your age in dealing with this violence, and you should be very proud of that. Being here is a great step toward taking responsibility for stopping sexual violence. At the same time that I say that, I want to encourage you to continue your education about violence against women. Don't let your efforts stop with this exercise. I know that it's not easy work to do, but it's work that we must do."