Bystander Scenarios: Mentors in Violence Prevention

The Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) playbook provides a number of scenarios you can use in exercises with high school males.

In a typical MVP workshop, a racially/ethnically diverse pair of facilitators, usually a couple of years older than the group, presents boys with a real-life situation of harassment, abuse, or violence. The students are then asked to position themselves as bystanders to the abusive behavior before, during, or after the fact. The ensuing dialogue is intended to encourage boys to interrupt their peers’ abusive behaviors.

The scenarios also provide a concrete menu of nonviolent options that the students discuss. The idea is that if they think through and discuss the pros and cons of various options before an incident happens, they will be more likely to do something constructive when the pressure is on.

Who Should Use the Scenarios?

The MVP model can be customized for virtually any population. It works best, at least initially, in an all-male setting of 10 to 30 people. (There are MVP materials for all-female settings.) Feel free to change a word here or there if you want to make the scenario ring true in a given setting or with a specific group. For example, if you are using this with an athletic team, substitute the word “teammate” for “friend.” If you are using these scenarios in a workplace setting, you can substitute the word “colleague” or “co-worker” for “friend.”

How to Use the Scenarios

Have someone read the scenario out loud. Then have someone else read the “train of thought” out loud. Once people acknowledge that these are realistic situations, you can ask a set of questions:

• Why would a bystander in this scenario not say something? What are the risks of saying or doing something to interrupt or confront the abusive behavior?
• What is the message to the victim when no one speaks up or acts on her behalf?
• What is the message to the perpetrator when no one confronts him or expresses disapproval of his abusive behavior?
• What, if anything, is the responsibility of the bystander to the victim?
• What, if anything, is the responsibility of the bystander to the perpetrator or potential perpetrator? (Note: the bystander is usually a friend, teammate, or co-worker of boy or man who is being abusive.)

The goal of asking these questions is to stimulate dialogue and critical thinking, and to reposition the empowered bystander—the one who speaks out and confronts his abusive peer—as strong and courageous, not “weak” or a “narc.”

Don’t expect unanimity of opinion about any of these questions. And remember to emphasize that there are no right or wrong answers about what is the best course of action in any given scenario. The only option that you should discourage is “do nothing.”

Tips for Getting Started on the Scenarios Once you have introduced yourselves, and talked about the need to rethink gender violence, harassment, abuse and bullying as issues that profoundly relate to and affect most young men, you are ready to introduce the MVP Playbook Scenarios.

1. Ask someone to volunteer to read the scenario aloud. This helps to connect the young men to the material, as well as to establish the premise that this is not a lecture, but an interactive dialogue. If at first no one volunteers, a simple "come on, some one help us out" usually suffices.
2. Once the scenario is read aloud, ask another volunteer to read the “train of thought" which follows.
3. After the scenario and the "train of thought" have been read aloud, try and get the students to start talking about the scenario. A trustworthy prompt is: "How many of you have been in or know of a situation like this one?" Chances are, some one who has been in this situation will raise their hand. Your goal as trainers is to spark as much interactive dialogue as possible. Remember, MVP sessions are facilitated workshops, not lectures. Questions like this one or others in the Trainer’s Guide should stimulate sufficient dialogue. However, if no one responds to your questions, don’t be afraid to break the ice by using your own personal experiences as a bystander, or tell a story about a friend. Most of the young men will be able to relate to your story, and they will respect your honesty and willing ness to share personal experiences. Sharing anecdotes is often the best way to loosen up a tough audience.
4. Maintain control of the discussion. The issues surrounding relationships, gender roles and identities, sexuality, and abuse are numerous and potentially complicated. As a result, the conversations often get animate d, and the students engage each other as well as the presenters. This is all good. But as trainers, you must re member that these sessions can seem to fly by, and there are many more scenarios to discuss. Sometimes you need to close off discussion on one topic by saying "This is great, but we have to move on," and then raise another discussion starter or move to another scenario.
5. Approach the end of each scenario by reviewing the list of options. Ask the young men to say which one they would choose or if they have their own personal option. Then ask them to explain why they chose that option. Emphasize that the list is not comprehensive, and that individual circumstances can vary widely. It is also effective to emphasize that we don’t prescribe any particular options, but we do discourage "It’s none of my business." It is also important to remind participants to keep their personal safety in the forefront of their mind s. In other word s, facilitators should explain that physical intervention should be considered as one of the last options.
6. The scenarios do not have to be read exactly in order, although they are laid out in a loose progression.
7. Attempt to personalize each scenario as much as possible. An effective question might be, “What if it were your sister in this scenario?”