Definitions

Terms Used in This Tool Kit

Because work with men and boys to prevent violence is a developing field, the terminology is also developing. The definitions below explain what we mean when we use key terms in this tool kit. Others may have slightly different understandings of these terms or use different words to describe the concepts: there is no one correct terminology.

We urge you to think of word choices as a strategic issue: What are you trying to communicate? To whom? Is the language accessible? How are your words heard? Does your language increase people’s understanding and ability to respond to the issues? It’s convenient to use a common terminology within an organization or program, but communities differ, and what is clear and useful in one context may be inappropriate or ineffective in another.

An ally is someone in a privileged group working with others from less privileged groups toward equality and social justice. Because men have privileges that come with being male in a society that gives them more economic, political, and social power than women, the best way for men to work as allies in this field is for them to use their gender privilege in whatever way they can to prevent gender-based violence. In particular, they can try to change the policies and conditions that contribute to gender-based violence and the oppression of women. Being an ally also means being accountable to women and recognizing their leadership in the violence prevention field.

A bystander is a family member, friend, classmate, teammate, or co-worker—anyone, male or female, who has some type of relationship with someone who is abusive or experiencing abuse. Bystanders are not the primary targets or victims of violence, but they are affected by it.

Cross-cultural solidarity is a philosophy and an approach that allows people to operate effectively in different cultural contexts. Approaching people from a cross-cultural solidarity perspective requires an understanding of the experiences of people from different cultural backgrounds, empathy for the oppression of others, a thorough awareness of your own culture, and a critical assessment of your own privilege.

Gender-based violence defines or keeps in place strict gender roles and unequal relationships. It is a policing mechanism used primarily by men to keep women or different types of men “in their place,” to show who has control in a relationship, or to enforce perceptions of who holds power.

While gender-based violence is mostly men’s violence toward women and girls, it can also be violence toward other men and boys (particularly gay males and those perceived as gay) and transgender people, and violence used by women. Gender-based violence takes many forms: physical, sexual, economic, and emotional abuse; restricted freedoms and rights; coercion and threats; and bullying and teasing.

Gender-based violence may be a useful concept when working with men and boys to prevent violence because it includes men as both perpetrators and survivors of violence, and connects violence to gender socialization (see below) and the power relations between and among men and women.

Gender socialization is how we teach our children to become women and men. It relies on socially dominant definitions of what it means to be a man or a woman—such as masculine norms that equate being a man with being strong, powerful, heterosexual, successful, and entitled to privileges over women. Men may use violence toward women, children, or other men when they do not live up to these ideals or feel that they are being challenged.

In general, biological males are pressured to act out roles defined as masculine. In most societies, men must choose from a selection of different masculine roles, or masculinities.

Talking about masculinities helps men see themselves as gendered beings—people who have been trained to act out being a male in specific ways—and understand the norms that inform men’s behaviors and how those norms are related to violence. Examining masculinities may make programs to prevent gender-based violence more effective by helping us understand how violence can result from the combination of men’s power and the fear and pain that results when men can’t meet the demands of particular masculinities.

Mentors are the caretakers, teachers, coaches, bosses, and others who help to guide men and boys toward becoming nonviolent men. They may be role models as well (see below), but what distinguishes them is the active role they play in others’ lives.

Any system (such as racism, sexism, or heterosexism) in which one group holds more social, political, and economic power than another, making the less powerful group vulnerable to exploitation, violence, and abuse.

Primary prevention involves changing the institutions, attitudes, and assumptions that are the root causes of gender-based violence. This type of prevention allows men to play a vital role as women’s allies in stopping gender-based violence, because men are ideally positioned to help make these changes happen.

Role models set examples for those around them of positive behaviors and attitudes toward women and girls. They display respectful and nonviolent options through their actions. They are distinguished from mentors (see above) in that they don’t take an active role in others’ lives.