Illegal Motion

Adapted from the Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) Playbook

You’re at a party, and when you walk outside, you see a friend of yours trying to get a drunk young woman to leave with him. She’s not just buzzed; she’s stumbling over her own feet. You know the young woman, and she seems reluctant.

Is this any of my business? Guys and girls who are drinking hook up all the time.....Then again, she looks really drunk. Maybe she’s not in a position to make a good decision.....What about him? Has he been drinking? Is he planning to drive? I can’t ignore that, either....I know a lot of “date rape” involves alcohol. Could this be one of those situations? But what if I’m overreacting?

Won’t my friend be mad at me? Will he even listen to me? But if I don’t do something, I might be letting her down.

What should I do?

1. Do nothing. It’s really none of my business.
2. Try to get my friend to leave her alone. Tell him he has to be real careful dealing sexually with a drunk girl.
3. Find some of her friends and try to convince them to get her home safely.
4. Approach the young woman and ask her how she feels, and if she wants help getting home.
5. Try to find an adult or some one who seems responsible, and ask them to assist me in defusing this situation.
6. Get a group of my friends together, male and female, and confront my friend, firmly telling him to stop pursuing this drunk girl. If he’s been drinking, make sure he doesn’t drive.
7. Personal Option:

TEACHING ILLEGAL MOTION

Background

This scenario sparks a discussion of some of the issues surrounding alcohol and consent. This is a highly realistic and common scenario. Most of the students have been in this situation, either as participants or observers.

Discussion Starters

How many people here know the legal definition of rape? (Consult “Working Definitions” on page 8.) How many of you feel confident that you understand when a young woman is or is not able to give consent to sexual activity when alcohol is involved? Does any one know what the law is regarding alcohol and consent? Does any one know what the law is in this state regarding statutory rape? (Consult “Working Definitions” ).

How does alcohol affect your judgement? What is your relationship to your friend? Do you have a responsibility to him, as well as to the woman? Could a sophomore confront a senior in this situation? Also, how might a person’s status in their peer culture affect their willingness to act? Focus on the phrase “she seems reluctant.” This brings up the possibility of coercion, which then can be discussed. (Consult “Working Definitions” on page 8 for clarification of terms.)

Common Concerns

This scenario raises all sorts of questions and concerns about the definition of consent. You need to make it clear to the students that you are not lawyers (unless you are), but that you are here to discuss ways to prevent violence.

Many men will express surprise, then frustration and anger, that if both parties are drunk, they’re the ones who bear legal responsibility for any technically “non -consensual” sex. You can remind them that this is the law, like it or not, and that it is their choice whether or not to put themselves in a situation where they’re not sure of the propriety of what they ’ re doing. This is what we refer to as the “grey area” between consensual and non-consensual sexual contact.

Approaching a friend in this situation can be extremely awkward and difficult. It is important to acknowledge this. One way to frame the issue is that you’re doing him a favor by confronting him (not to mention preventing her from being assaulted). Although statistically it is highly unlikely this circumstance will lead to a rape charge, (even if an actual rape occurs), the stigma for young men of being charged with rape, as well as the potential disciplinary and legal proceedings that result, should be discussed.

End the scenario by reminding the students that a high percentage of date rapes involve alcohol, many in situations that begin like this one. Also remind them that while it might be awkward, confronting a friend in this situation could prevent a tragedy for everyone involved.