Talkin' Trash
Adapted from the Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) Playbook
You’re sitting on the stairs outside of school with a few friends. A young woman walks by wearing a tight mini-skirt. Your friends start making crude gestures and harassing remarks, referring to her body and clothes, and saying things like “we know you like it.” The young woman is obviously getting upset. Is she really upset, or does she like the attention? Is it true what they’re saying? Does that matter? Girls have the right to wear whatever they want.
How would I feel if the girl was my sister, or my friend?.....If I remain silent, am I agreeing with my friends’ behavior?.....What if she reports the incident?. . . . .Will my friends ask me to lie for them?.....What should I do?
- Keep quiet.
- Join in (although my heart’s not in it) because I don’t want my friends to think less of me.
- Drift off to the side, away from the activity. Later, apologize to the young woman for my friends’ immature and sexist behavior.
- Distract my friends by saying some thing like “chill out, guys,” and try to convince them to stop.
- Leave the scene, but later talk to each guy individually and let them know that I have a problem with the way they treated this person.
- Talk about the issue with a parent, a teacher or another adult I can trust.
- Personal Option:
TEACHING TALKING TRASH
Background
This scenario introduces the subject of sexual harassment. It provides an opportunity to discuss the issue of sexism and objectification in situations that do not involve explicitly physical violence. It also can open up discussion about young men’s attitudes toward young women’s appearance and sexuality.
Discussion Starters
What is sexual harassment? What is the difference between flirting and harassment? Would those guys be saying these things if they were alone, or are they trying to show off for their friends? Why would harassing a woman be seen as something “cool” guys do?
By the way they dress, flirt, or talk, do women bear any responsibility for provoking men’s comments or behaviors? Who decides when a situation turns abusive or harassing?
Has any one here ever asked a female friend or sister how she feels when men make these sorts of comments, on the street or on campus? What did she say?
Common Concerns
Some young men will rightfully feel like they’re risking losing status with their peers if they speak up in a situation like this. (i.e. they’re not “one of the guys.”) This can lead to a discussion of status hierarchies in groups of men, and the role of homophobia as a silencer. Focus on the role of leadership and the need to take risks.
Some young men might argue that some young women actually enjoy this sort of commentary from men. You can point out that the scenario explicitly states “the young woman is getting upset.” Also, you can ask how they think women feel when they’re subjected to this sort of treatment from men.
End the scenario by reminding the guys that sexual harassment by definition is not just harmless fun. Someone is being harmed. It’s wrong, and it might be a crime.
Resource Information
- Resource Type:
- Exercise
- Toolkit Sections:
- Get to Work
- Toolkit Sub-Sections:
- Get to Work - What Men & Boys Can Do
